Summer Sillies: Instrument Jokes

Instrument Jokes

Summer is time to relax, enjoy life, and pretend that fall is never coming. As a kid, part of summer was eating popsicles and then reading the jokes left behind on the stick.

What insects do firemen really dislike?
Fireflies.

In honor of summer, and popsicles, here are some instrument jokes. Please note that I love all the instruments, and this is all meant to be funny. I play viola and added more viola jokes than any other. Add your own in the comments!
Bass:
 Did you hear about the bassist who was so out of tune his section noticed?

WHEN NO ONE HOLDS THE DOOR FOR THE BASS PLAYER

 Clarinet:

Double Reeds:

What is a burning oboe good for?

Setting a bassoon on fire.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get away from the bassoon recital.

Percussion: 
If thine enemy wrong thee, buy each of his children a drum.

How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb? None. There's machines that can do that now.

Heard backstage: "Will the musicians and the drummer please come to the stage!"

Piano:  
A note left for a pianist from his wife: Gone Chopin, (have Liszt), Bach in a Minuet.


Why did they say that the pianist had fingers like lightning? They never struck the same place twice.

Trombone:
What do 4 trombones sound like at the bottom of the sea? A good idea!

What is a gentleman?

Somebody who knows how to play the trombone, but doesn't.

Trumpet:
How do you get a trumpet player to play fff? Write mp on the part

How do trumpet players traditionally greet each other?

"Hi. I'm better than you."

Viola:

 How can you tell when a violist is playing out of tune? 
The bow is moving.

How do you make a violin sound like a viola?
Sit in the back and don't play.

Why are violin jokes so short?
So violists can understand them.

Why are violas larger than violins?
They're not. The violist's head is smaller.


When someone says the violas are too loud....


















Violin: 
What's the difference between a violin and a viola? 
There is no difference. The violin just looks smaller because the violinist's head is so much bigger. 

What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?

A fiddle is fun to listen to. 
How many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They can't get up that high!

When Someone is showing off....

                                              NO please keep playing.

Sarcasm. It's not just for teenagers.

Wocka wocka wocka! Also, string palyers should check out the fun website
http://gottabeastringplayer.tumblr.com/

Have fun guys!